theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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