I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
