there's paper in my vomit.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
