Where is the hickey?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
