I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
