guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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