so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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