Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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