i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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