oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
