I have demons in me.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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