im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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