During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
