oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
did you just send me my own nude
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
