Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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