I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
