How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
