hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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