It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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