You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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