I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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