i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
