smell my finger.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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