i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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