Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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