I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
