It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
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Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
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I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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