I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
