I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
