the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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