If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize