you traded sex for a burrito?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
