I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
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It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
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Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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