She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize