Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize