I don't think brook has ever known best
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
