Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
