i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i now understand why vodka
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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