i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
