You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
