is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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