and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize