Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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