I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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