this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
