I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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