I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
