I just pynch a tree in the face
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
