Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
