Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
