I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
