Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I would ride that face into the sunset
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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