I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.