someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.