My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
