Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
