Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
