my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
