I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
