She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
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You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
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She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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