You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
