some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
