OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
