matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
