i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
