After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
