Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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