found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
True strength comes from lack of pants
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
