im gay
i know
yea but for you.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
