Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Randomize
