ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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